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  • Coach Deb

Permission, Provocation, Powerful Tools


My mission statement reads: I offer women permission, provocation, and powerful tools to find their authentic center and live joyfully from that space. But what, precisely, does that mean? Allow me to break down what I do...


I offer. Coaching is a partnership. No matter how much I want growth and change for you, I can't create it. You have to choose: the call, the coaching, the tools, the work. I spend the majority of my professional hours offering up skills, thoughts, questions, challenges. I craft them carefully, and then I let them go, like dandelion seeds in the wind. It's my job to offer, and my job ends there. Even in my coaching calls, many of my sentences begin with "what if," or end with "could this be true for you?" It's all an offering. Take what you need, what speaks to you. I don't have your answers, but I can offer you what you need to find them for yourself and I trust that you will choose the offers that suit you best.


Permission. I work with grown women. Do they need my permission? Do they need anyone's permission?? Technically, that answer is a hard no. But practically, most women are running on programming that says everyone else is more important, that they are responsible, first and foremost, for the happiness of others, that a good woman is self-sacrificing to the core. Until they learn how to create boundaries and use their voices, until they understand that caring for themselves is caring for others, until the limiting beliefs are cleared and a managed mind emerges, women do need permission. They need someone to say: it's OK to say no; what would be best for you in this situation; how can you meet your own needs; let's talk about what you want for yourself. I am that someone.


Provocation. I chose this word with great care. One of my core roles as a coach is to ask hard questions. As much as I champion my clients, I challenge them in equal measure. It's what they came for, even if they don't realize it at the outset of their coaching journey. The life you are living today is the sum total of your current beliefs, thoughts, choices, habits. Knowing that you want to change that life is only the beginning. To create the change, the existing structure has to be rearranged; we have to question those thoughts and beliefs, examine those habits and choices, hold the fabric of your current life up to the light and see where the warp and weft are off. Provoking is the most accurate word I could have chosen for how this process feels, and my role in it.


Powerful tools. To make those changes, you need skills. I've got a trunkful, and I love to share. Each client journey is different, but some common skills learned by all of my clients include:

  • The witness mind. Right now your brain is probably running amok, and you have very little conscious awareness of what it's up to. It's creating the life you're living, but without your engaged guidance and cooperation. In order to create the life you want to be living, you've got to learn how to see what's going on up there, in your human brain. I liken it to building a watchtower above a forest. Your conscious mind, the thing you think of as "me," is the person in the forest. The forest is your mind, filled with thoughts and beliefs--the trees. Right now, you're on the forest floor, able to see only a few trees at a time. The overall landscape is obscured. Through coaching, you'll build the watchtower that allows you to rise above, to see the whole picture with clarity and calm remove. This creates what I call a "managed mind," and it's magical.

  • Subconscious shifts. Did you know that 95 - 99% of your thinking is actually subconscious? Possibly not, since the definition of that word is beneath the level of your conscious thoughts! But it's true. The subconscious even makes most of your decisions. It also holds all of your programming, memories, belief structures, habits, and trauma. It's immensely powerful, and oddly overlooked in much of the coaching industry. Overall, coaching tends to be focused on the conscious mind: goal setting, visualization, action plans, mantras. But if you're chasing a conscious goal that your subconscious believes is unsafe or impossible for you, if you hold a belief (even one you aren't aware of!) that you aren't worth of what you desire, you've just entered a tug-of-war competition. You are playing for Team 5%...and against Team 95%. I share a variety of tools with my clients to help them explore their subconscious and create shifts on that level, so your whole brain can play for the same team.

  • Straight line change. The shortest distance between two points is a straight line, yes? But seeking change often leads us down a circuitous path. That's not always a bad thing! But sometimes you just want to hurry up and get there, already. Coaching is a catalyst for change, and I help my clients accelerate their results by using a simple, focused, 3-step process for change. In step 1, we get clear on what you truly want (which might not be what you currently think you want). In step 2, we get you out of your own way (like I talked about above), and in step 3 we take action. Ironically, moving in a straight line is not a linear process. Most often, we'll be working on two or even all three steps at the same time. But understand that these three aspects are all that's needed to create any change allows us to be efficient and effective in our sessions.

Authentic center. Suffering is caused by straying from your truth. It's a direct relationship--the further you move from your center, from the authentic truth of who you are, the more you suffer. The center of a life of peace and ease is your center. Every desire you have, every change you would hope to make for yourself, is a call home. Some are obvious, others wear a creative disguise. But anywhere your life feels off, anything you want to grow or heal, is a beacon shining to guide you home. I'm here to help you hear, and heed, that call.


Life joyfully. What would it mean for you if Gabby Bernstein's words, "you're here to have fun," were true? Spoiler alert: they are true. You're not here to struggle, hustle, or grind. That doesn't mean you're not here to create. It means you're not here to create like that. Grace, peace, and ease are your default settings. Don't believe me? Watch a child. You are meant for that kind of wonder, confidence, and glee. Children are free and easy not because they don't have responsibilities, but because they are still nested in their own authentic center. They have yet to absorb the messages that pull them away from their truth, that silence their voices and darken their light, that instill self-doubt and fear. When you find your way back to your center, you immediately reconnect with your joyful nature. And in the best plot twist ever, chasing joy will actually guide you back home. No matter what brings them to me, this is my goal for each of my clients: a life brimming with joy.


My mission is my purpose, my purpose is my mission. These words tell the story of what I do, and this post tells you a little more about how I do it. If any of this feels like something you need in your life, I invite you to schedule a free exploratory call. We can talk about how these concepts apply to the changes you'd like to make and how you can reclaim your joyous nature. Thanks for reading. I love you!

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